Writing and music – they go hand in hand for me. And as I dig into chapter five of Broken Home, music creates a connection to the raw emotions and grittiness needed to bring my characters to life. All of my works are completely fictional, but they are based on very real emotions; emotions that I once buried for the simple sake of survival. Had I not buried them, I might not have survived. Now, as my characters cry out for life, those feelings, those experiences must surface.
It is a healing process. Trauma does funny things to us. It changes us. It causes us to withdrawal, bury and remove ourselves from the incident. But those experiences aren’t meant to be buried forever. They are meant to heal so that we can, once again, become whole. So we can learn, grow, flourish, blossom into the beautiful beings we are meant to be.
My dear friends, if you have trauma or have a painful moment you’ve buried and left to fester under the surface, I invite you to bring it to the surface in whatever way works for you. When you are ready. And if you find that you’re not ready or the pain becomes too much to handle, put it away for a while. Healing happens in layers and with time. Just don’t forget that it only happens with intention.
I also encourage you to seek out professional help, especially if you find yourself stuck. We all get stuck sometimes. We all need help sometimes. I attended nearly a year of domestic violence counseling and it helped me tremendously, and without it, I don’t know that I could have found a way to break the cycle and face my demons.
I’d also like to remind you to be patient with yourself as you tread down the winding road of healing. It took me four years to look at a photo of my abuser. That very first time sent me into a panic attack, but afterwards, I found the hold he still had on me – a hold of fear – diminished a little. My heart still races a bit, but I don’t break down and cry now when I see his photo or hear a song that reminds of that time and place. You can do this too. You can heal. You are allowed to heal. You are so worth it.